Hash Songbook

Hash Hymn
Melody – Swing Low, Sweet Chariot

Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home,
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home.

I looked over Jordan and what did I see,
Coming for to carry me home,
A band of angels coming after me,
Coming for to carry me home.

If you get there before I shit,
Coming for to carry me home,
Tell all my friends that I’m coming too,
Coming for to carry me home.

May the hash go in peace.
May the hash get a piece.

Surgeon named Keith

There once was a surgeon named Keith
Who circumcised men with his teeth
He didn’t do it for leisure or sexual pleasure
But to get all the cheese underneath

We’ve  Got Virgins
Melody – Frere Jacques

We’ve got virgins, 
We’ve got virgins,
On our hash, 
On our hash,
Gonna get’em drunked up, 
Gonna get’em fucked up,
Down the hatch, 
Up the ass,
So drink it down, down, down.  

Meet the Hashers
Melody – Flintstones Theme

Hashers, meet the hashers,
They’re the biggest drunks in history,
From the, town of Manama, 
We’re the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers,
Down down, down down, down down,
Down down down down down down down down down.

Shitty Trail
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail (It sucked!)
Shitty trail (it blows!)
The motherfuckers laid a shitty trail
I would rather drink a beer than hash your shitty trail,
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Drink it down down, down down

Birthday Song # 1
Melody – Happy Birthday to You
Hashy birthday, fuck you,
Hashy birthday, fuck you,
Hashy birthday, you asshole,
Hashy birthday, fuck you.
Drink it down, down, down.

Birthday Song # 2
Melody – Happy Birthday to You
Hashy birthday to you,
Hashy birthday to you,
You look like a hasher,
And you smell like one too.
Drink it down, down, down.

This Is Your Down-Down Song
Melody – Ta-Rah-Rah-Boom Te-Ay

This is your Down-Down song,
It isn’t very long. . . .
So drink it down, down, down.

Hash House Harriers
Melody – Addams Family Theme

Da da da da (snap fingers twice)
Da da da da (snap fingers twice)
Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da

Their drinking is compulsive and
Their running is convulsive,
They’re morally repulsive,
The Hash House Harriers.
Drink it down, down, down.

B-I-M-B-O
Melody – B-I-N-G-O
B-I-M-B-O,
B-I-M-B-O,
B-I-M-B-O,
And BIMBO was her name oh

What A Wank
Melody – William Tell Overture

What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, wank, wank.

Why was He/She Born So Beautiful?

Why was he/she born so beautiful?
Why was he/she born at all?
He/she’s no fuckin’ use to anyone,
He/she’s no bloody use at all.
They say He/she’s a joy to his mother,
But He/she’s a pain in the asshole to me,

He/she’s fresh as a daisy,
He/she’s drives me crazy,
Drink it down, down, down.

Stoopid

You are stupid!
You are stupid!
You’re really fucking dumb
If it wasn’t for your mother
You’d be a spot of cum!
Drink it down, down, down.

They Ought To Be Publicly Pissed On
Melody – My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean

They ought to be publicly pissed on,
They ought to be publicly shot,
They ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot,
Drink it down, down, down.

Bullshit
Melody – My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean

Bull-shit, bull-shit,
It all sounds like bullshit to me, to me,
Bull-shit, bull-shit,
It all sounds like bullshit to me
Drink it down, down, down.

Ass and Titties
Melody – Head, Shoulders, Knees, & Toes

Head, shoulders, knees, and…
Ass and titties, ass, ass and titties!
Ass and titties, ass, ass and titties!
Drink it down, down, down.

Notes: The first line is sung like the children’s song, the second line is sung like a bad rap song. You’re encouraged to touch the body part as it is being mentioned. Feel free to add other sexual body parts as necessary

Assholes Are Cheap Today
Melody – La Donna E Mobile

Assholes are cheap today,
Cheaper than yesterday.
Little ones are half a crown,
Standing up or lying down.
Larger ones are four-and-six,
Cause they take much bigger pricks.

Assholes are cheap today,
Cheaper than yesterday!

Donnie the Retard
Melody – Frosty the Snowman

Donnie the retard,
Had an eight pound watermelon head,
He was five foot three and he said to me,
Hiii myyy naaame isss Donnnnnie
Drink it down, down, down.

Dos A Beer
Melody – Do, Re, Mi (Sound of Music)

Dos, a beer, a Mexican beer,
Ray, the guy who buys me beer,
Me, the guy, who drinks the beer,
Far, a long-long way to run,
So, I think I’ll have a beer!
La-ts and lots and lots of beer,
Tea, no thanks I’ll have a beer,
And that brings us back to Dos, dos, dos, dos…

Song of Six Checks
Melody – Sing a Song of Six Pence
Sing a song of six checks,
A pocket full of flour,
Four-and-twenty hashers,
Lost on trail for hours.
And when they found the beer check,
There wasn’t any there,
They all agreed to go On-In,
And kill the fucking hares!

He’s the Meanest
He’s the Meanest
He sucks the horse’s penis
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass. (Hey!)
Ever since he found it (Hey!)
All he does is pound it (Hey!)
He’s the meanest, he’s the horse’s ass.
Drink it down, down, down.

Soldier Song
Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee,
For cunt, for cunt, for country and for king,
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.

They Ought to be Publicly Pissed On

They ought to be publicly pissed on,
They ought to be publicly shot, (Bang bang!)
They ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot,
Drink it down, down, down.

Twenty Toes
Here’s to the game called ‘Twenty Toes’
That’s played all over town.
The women play with ten toes up.
And the men with ten toes down, down, down.

Your Hand Was Made To Stroke My Gland
Melody – This land is your land.

This hand is your hand,
This gland is my gland,
So run it slowly,
To make my thing stand,
Let’s play forever,
We’ll cum together,
Your hand was made to stroke my gland!

Its A Small Dick
Melody – It’s a Small World

Well it isn’t long and it isn’t thick,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat but it’s all that he’s got,
It’s a small, small dick.

It’s a small dick after all,
It’s a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol,
It’s a small, small dick!

Finger In Your Beer

How would, you like, my finger in your ear?
How would, you like, my finger in your ear?
Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely!

How would, you like, my finger in your rear?
How would, you like, my finger in your rear?
Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely!

How would, you like, my finger in your beer?
How would, you like, my finger in your beer?
Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely! Not fucking likely!

He/She Likes It In The Kitchen

He/She likes it in the kitchen,
He/Shelikes it in the kitchen,
He/Shelikes it in the kitchen,
He/She kitchen means her/his butt!

A Few of My Favourite Things
Melody – My Favourite things.

Dildos and vibrators and vaseline jelly,
That’s what I use to set fire in my belly.
In and out, up and down making me wet
These are a few of my favorite things
Men are useless!
I don’t need them!
I’m the best I’ve had.
I simply remember my favorite things,
And that’s when it feels so grand!

Head!

Head! Who said head?
I’ll take some of that,
So I did, and it was good
And there was much rejoicing.

And then we fucked!
We fucked for hours
Uprooting trees, and shrubs and flower and shit.

We fucked like Vikings
With horns on our head!

Head! Who said head?
I’ll take some of that!
and I did. And it was good.

And boy was she pissed
Jizzed on.
Yada yada yada

For the Beer Fusspots
Melody – Row Row Row Your Boat
Down Down Down your beer,
To pay for your crime.
Quit complaining about the taste,
There’s no sperm this time.

All Australians
Melody – The Old Gray Mare
All Australians are born illegitimate, born illegitimate, born illegitimate,
All Australians are born illegitimate . . . bastards thru and thru.
They ain’t got no, birth certificates, birth certificates, birth certificates.
They ain’t got no, birth certificates . . . bastards thru and thru.

Weiner
Melody – I Wish I Were an Oscar Meyer Weiner
Oh they wish they were a hasher with a wiener,
That is what they’d truly like to be.
For if they were a hasher with a wiener,
They wouldn’t have to stop and squat to pee.
Lazy Bastards

Why Are We Waiting
Why are we waiting,
Could be masturbating,
Oh, why are we waiting,
So fucking long.
​
Oh, why are we waiting,
Could be fornicating,
Oh, why are we waiting,
Oh, why are we waiting,
Oh, why are we waiting,
So fucking long!

Tiny Dick
Melody – I Wish I Were an Oscar Meyer Weiner

Oh we wish he wasn’t hung like a mosquito,
Tiny’s what he truly seems to be-e-e,
For if he wasn’t hung like a mosquito,
He’d surely get a lot more play from me!!

Anyone’s Song
Here’s to __ ,
He’s true blue,
He’s a Hasher through and through,
He’s a pisspot / asshole,
So they say,
Tried to go to heaven,
But he went the other way, (in a long, long way)

If Your Boyfriend / Girlfriend Tastes Like Shit
Melody – If You’re Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands
If your bf/gf tastes like shit, turn him/her around,
If your bf/gf tastes like shit, turn him/her around,
If your bf/gf tastes like shit, he/she’s probably pushing it,
If your bf/gf tastes like shit, turn him/her around.

Throat My Bone
Melody – Row Row Row Your Boat
Throat, throat, throat my bone
Gobble down my meat
Sloppy, slurpy, sticky, salty
A blowjob can’t be beat

Monday is a hashing day
Leader: Today is Monday!
All: Today is Monday!
Leader: Monday is a hashing day! (running motion, cheering)
All: Monday is a hashing day! (running motion, cheering)

Leader: Is everybody happy?
All: You bet your ass we are!
All: (raise cups over heads and make one complete turn while humming)
Da da dut da da, da da dut da da

Leader: Today is Tuesday!
All: Today is Tuesday!
Leader: Tuesday is 2 finger day! (fingering motion)
All: Tuesday is 2 finger day! (fingering motion)
Leader: Monday is a hashing day! (running motion)
All: Monday is a hashing day! (running motion, cheering)

(now that you’ve got the idea, here are the rest of the days)
Wednesday is a Wanking day! (wanking motions)
Thursday is a fisting day! (pump your fists)
Friday is a fucking day! (humping motions)
Saturday is a hashing day! (Yay!)
Sunday is a resting day (low key, almost quiet)

Yogi Bear
Melody – Camptown Races

I know a bear that you all know,
Yogi, Yogi,
I know a bear that you all know,
Yogi, Yogi Bear.
Yogi, Yogi Bear.

Yogi has a girlfriend – Cindy, Cindy,
Yogi has a girlfriend – Cindy, Cindy,
Cindy, Cindy Bear, Cindy, Cindy Bear,
Yogi has a girlfriend,
Cindy, Cindy Bear, Cindy, Cindy Bear,

Yogi has a little friend,
Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo,
Yogi has a little friend,
Boo-Boo, Boo-Boo
Boo-Boo bear, Boo-Boo bear!

Cyndi has a shaven snatch,
Grizzly, grizzly,
Cyndi has a shaven snatch,
Grizzly, Grizzly, Grizzly Bear

Skeeter on my Peter
Melody – If You’re Happy And You Know It

There’s a skeeter on my peter,
wack it off, (wack it off!)
There’s a skeeter on my peter,
wack it off, (wack it off!)
There’s a dozen on my cousin’s,
I can here the fucker’s buzzin,
There’s a skeeter on my peter, wack it off!

Fuck Off Ya Cunt
Melody – Auld Lang Syne

Fuck off, ya cunt, fuck off, ya cunt,
Fuck off, ya cunt, fuck off! (Fuck off!)

Fuck off, ya cunt, fuck off, ya cunt,
Fuck off, ya cunt, fuck off! (Fuck off!)

Do Your Balls Hang Low

Do your balls hang low
Can you swing them to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow

Do your balls hang low
Can you swing them to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow
Can you swing them over your shoulder
Like the red janmejal told ya
Do your balls hang low